Codex:
R.G.M.W. 
(REC.GAMES.MINITURES.WARHAMMER)

I always wondered what the people who constantly post on the warhammer newsgroup would look like. But then I went one step further and created rules for them in 40K (Rogue Trader of course)
***All characters in this Codex are fictitious. Any resemblence to people living or dead is purely coincidental. This does not affect your statatory rights***
The people of the planet Rec.Games.Minatures.Warhammer are a motly lot, only venturing out into the "˜real world' once in a while.
  
Army Selection:
Characters: 	0-50% 	
Squads: 	0-100% 	
Support: 	0-75% 	
Allies: 	0-75% 	
FACTIONS: 
Before you choose the army you must decide what side they are on. They can either be in the TEF (Third Edition Fanboys) , SEC or the RTC. Some characters and squads can only be chosen if you have an RTC, SEC or TEF army.
Units marked by the initials (RTC) are only availible with RTC armies.
Units marked by (SEC) are only availible with SEC armies.
Units marked with (TEF) are only availible with TEF armies.
Units unmarked can be chosen with either.
  
ALLIES:
The RTC can ally with Zoats, Squats, Jokero, Navigators and any of those little aliens at the back of RT (Ambulls, Bouncers, etc).
The SEC can ally with Necrons, Demon World Armies, Genestealer Cults , Adeptus Mechanicus TechPriests, and any other v2 armies made obsolete with the relese of 40Kv3 (even individual characters or squads, as long as GW has discontinued them).
The TEF can ally with anyone, as long as they aren't discontinued/obsolete/whatever. Except DE, I can't be bothered making rules for the DK in Rogue Trader (although if anyone else can I'd be glad to hear them :)

CHARACTERS 
(Characters? Yes. Special? No......)
  
0-1 'EVIL HOMER'.................................................................... 200 points
0-5 BABES Bodyguard.................................................................... 5 points each
Evil Homer is God, or at least he thinks he is (no wait, he's just comfortable in his superiority.. yeh, that's it). No-one really follows him, he is just the self-proclaimed leader.
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
Evil Homer 	4 	6 	6 	5 	7 	3 	1 	4 	10 	
Weapons: Really-Heavy-Modem*, E-mail Gun**, Printer Cable
Armour: Dodgy T-Shirt, Baggy Pants, Even-Dodgyer Pink Floyd Cap
Special:
AAAGGGHHH! *SLUMP* - At the end of each HTH phase, Evil Homer can substitute all his hits for one mega-ultra-super-duper -strangulation hit with his printer cable. It is a S1 hit which causes half a wound.
What! You say this is a crappy attack. No way!
DEVASTATING PERSONAL INSULT - Once per turn, after an enemy model has done something Boneheaded (Rules for Boneheaded Actions will be released in a future supplement. For now, take any Flame or Spam weapons as being Boneheaded) Evil Homer can launch a Devastating Personal Insult using his BS (haha) skill. The DPI has an effectively infinite range and strikes at S7 with an additional -2 Save modifier. It does 1 Wound at this time, plus it causes Lingering Emotional Damage. At the beginning of each enemy turn, a model which was previously DPI'ed must make an unmodified LD test or continue to be so consumed by the DPI that it is unable to take any action whatsoever unless carrying a FlamerRifle, in which case it may only flame Evil Homer.
FLAMER IMMUNITY - Evil Homer is immune to FlamerRifles, unless they have been modified to include the Juvenile Homo Insult Zapper Machine (aka JHIZM), in which case Evil Homer becomes Frenzied for the remaindier of the turn and +1 to his WS, BS and T.
KILLFILE - Evil Homer can target one enemy model on the table per turn with the Killfile special attack. If successful, Evil Homer may choose to ignore the presence of targeted model (including attacks by that model) for the remaindier of the game, even if the model attacks other friendly models nearby in a desperate attempt to draw Evil Homer's attention. 
RLS (REALLY LOUD SHIRT) - If a model attempts to engage Evil Homer in close combat, the model must first make a LD test at -2 or become stunned and unable to attack this turn.
WALL O' BABES SPECIAL SAVE - If a model manages to wound Evil Homer in hth combat, Evil Homer gains a +1 to his save (to a maximum of 1+) for every 2 Babes (purchased seperately at 5 pts. each) within 3" of him. The presence of the Babes causes the attacker to be distracted, and thus not as effective a combatant as normal. Babes can be shot, but cannot be attacked in hand-to-hand combat unless the attacking player makes a really good abused woman joke first (See rules for ROB in the next supplement).
  
*REALLY HEAVY MODEM - The Really Heavy Modem is a... well... really heavy modem.
Range 	Strength 	Save Mod 	Special 	
Short: 1" Long: 3" 	8 	-5 	Annoying bleeping noise. In HTH all units must take a Ld test before they can take any hits because of the way the big grey box beeps constantly. 	
**SPAMCANNON - The Spamcannon is a more sofisticated version of the SpamGun. It shoots a long thread at the target which confuses them and makes their heads explode.
Range 	Strength 	Save Mod 	Special 	
Short: 6" Long: 24" 	5 	No Save 	All units take LD test. 1" blast marker. 	

0-3 'MERIDIAN'...........................................................
MERIDIAN PRETENDER 	50 points 	
MERIDIAN 	90 points 	
MERIDIAN CHAMPION 	125 points 	
MERIDIAN LORD 	175 points 	
  
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
Meridian Pretender 	4 	2 	3 	2 	3 	1 	10 	1 	1* 	
Meridian 	4 	3 	3 	3 	3 	1 	10 	1 	1* 	
Meridian Champion 	5 	4 	4 	3 	4 	2 	10 	2 	2* 	
Meridian Lord 	5 	5 	5 	4 	5 	3 	10 	3 	2* 	
										
Weapons: Big-Bumper-Book of Flames, How To Be Popular On This Newsgroup.
Armour: Newbie Plating (a mesh armour made from the bones of crushed newbies) 3+
Special: Meridian Pretender has 1 'Spam' (see bottom) Meridian has 2 'Spams', Meridian Champian has 3, etc.
BIG-BUMPER-BOOK OF FLAMES: This book is the pinnicle of all flaming technology. It can used as a range weapon or a heavy flamer, it depends. The range weapon has a short range of 24" and a long range of..... well..... as far as his voice will carry the annoying, bugging, threads. Thats a looooooong way, belive me. The flamer attack doubles the Stength and increased armour modifier (-1 to -2).
SIGHT OF DEATH - The sight of Meridian causes horror/insanity/disgust. At the begining of the game the enemy must make a Ld test for each of his/her squads. If the test is failed the squad has become so disraght and hurt by Meridians witty flames that they burst out laughing and don't stop until the next turn. Turn the units on the front, they count as difficult terrain from now on.
HOW TO BE POPULAR ON THIS NEWSGROUP: This is the tome for anyone aspiring to become admired by everyone. Unfortunalty for Meriadian he doesn't realise it is one big book of sarcasic remarks. He takes it ohh soo seriously.
At the beginning of the game roll a D6 for every other character in his or an allied army. On the roll of a six, the person becames so disgusted by a certain thing Meridian has said, they storm off, never to be seen again. What a shame.
YOU'RE A GIT: For some reason everyone hates Meridian. That's about it. No special rules, no super weapons. Just thought I'd merntion it. :)
    
*BBBOF (BIG BUMPER BOOK OF FLAMES) -
Range 	Strength 	Save Mod 	Special 	
See above 	3 	-1 	See above 	

'D'...................................................................................................... 40 points
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
D 	10 	3* 	6 	5 	7 	3 	284** 	4 	10 	
Weapons: Chaingun, An assorsment of Torturous Devices, Evil Stare.
Armour: Latex Body Suit (a man can dream...) Automatic save
Special:
DAMN CUTE: Ever sice she was found to be a woman, D has never been flamed. Coincidence, I think not. In a game, people wanting to shoot at her must make a Ld to even take a shot at her because.. well.. she's a woman.... Damn, and had that Defence Laser all ready too ...
MUST.... SHOOT......HIM....: Whenever a model fails his/her test to shoot at D the troop looks at the member of the squad next to him. He's looking at her. "œShe's mine she is!" The man shouts, tearing into his teammate with his gun. Immediatly fire upon nearest friendly unit.
  *Well... she is a WOMAN after all. Hehehehe *slap* "œOw!" Okay.. WS of 10 then. SATISFIED
** Well.... everyone knows that woman are more intelligent than...... those other types.... oh yeh, us.... 

'BRIAN D. SCHENK'........................................................................ 25 points
Brian is the pinnicle of all niceness, and level-headedness. A medic for a RGMW army.
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
Brian Schenck 	4 	10 	8 	4 	3 	2 	10 	1 	10 	
Weapons: None 
Armour: Family-and-Close-Personal-Friends Shield (bieng such a wimpy game geek, Brian would never dare wan't to be 'punched out in front of his bird' so will pull his family, close personal friends and anyone lying around in front of passing bullets. As long as there is someone within 2" of Brian, he will never get hit, the closest person will.)
What a geeeeeeeeek.
How ruthless I am.
Bwahahahahahaha!!
Skills:
THREAD REGENERATION: Brian has the uncanny ability to mend distraught people and heal broken hearts. Hahahaha. *Snif* Sorry. Brian has a Medipack but can also cure the effects of any spam (he is a walking nullify) and can heal any effects of THE POWER OF PERSUSION (see 'Whiners')
  
*This attack is never really used. Brian wouldn't DARE hit ANYONE.

(RTC) ALIEN 164 (The Greater Demon of AOL) .....................................327 points 
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
Alien 164 	6 	10 	10 	6 	6 	10 	2* 	8 	10 	
Weapons: The Blade of Stupidity
Armour: Baggy 'WE LOVE AOL' T-Shirt
Special:
HE'S ONLY A BLOODY KID: No one will even go near him, cause shooting at a kid is just not very nice....
ILLUSION OF NORMALITY: Until he gets within 2" of any enemy, he appears as a normal kid. When an enemy gets close to him he reveals his true self. The Greater Demon Of AOL, ALIEN 164. After this happens 'He's Only A Bloody Kid' rule is nullified.
*He's only a kid for god sake!
  
THE BLADE OF STUPIDITY
This HTH weapon bleats a cacaphony of mispronounced words and stupid quotes. The weapon causes confusion in anyone who goes near it
Range 	Strength 	Save Mod 	Special 	
HTH only 	4 	-1 	All units take LD test or suffer effects of Stupidity. 	

(RTC) SHIM (THE RTC COMMISINAR).......................................................... 150 points
Shim is well.... one mean guy :)
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
Shim 	4 	4 	5 	4 	4 	2 	4 	2 	10 	
Armour: RGMW Power Field & Long Black Trenchcoat.
Weapons\Equipment: Bolt Pistol, Micro-Hand Flamer, Power Sword.
Special:
CULTIST - Takes all Leadership tests on unmodified Ld 10, immune to psychology. (Sworn to defend the RTC to the death)
SNAP SHOT - If an opposing - or 'friendly' (Actually, 'friendly' is the wrong term for RGMW. How about 'tenuously assosciated'?) - model insults Rogue Trader or the RTC in any way, Shim will (this is not optional!) take a 'snap shot' with his Bolt Pistol at them, at BS 3. 
BLOODY YANKEES - If an American makes any comment regarding the rumour that they 'saved' us in WWII, Shim will immediately Frenzy and charge them. Regardless of who they are (except a fellow RTC initiate or Evil Homer; he'll let them off - he isn't THAT stupid)
MICROFLAMER - Only contains enough hatred, vitriol, etc for one shot per battle, but that uses the normal Flamer template at S5. (That's for when Shim gets *really* pissed off... which doesn't happen often)
RGMW POWER FIELD - The field negates all incoming Third Edition weaponry, Necron attacks, or sane orders. (It seems about right)
THE GREAT ALMIGHTY BOOK (RT) - The Book allows Shim to attempt to make a 'field conversion' of any opposing Fanboy or Second Edition troop type. If Shim wins a close combat, he may forgo all attacks in return for showing the opponent the Book, and explaining to him the utter uselessness of Second & Third Edition. The attempt will succed on a 6+ (it has happened in real life...), causing the enemy to fall under the power of the RGMW player, exchanging his weapons for a flamer, flak armour, and sword.
ODDS & ENDS SAVE - As every Guard player knows, all Commissars wear one of those black things. The pockets filled on Shim's a *long* time ago... and now no-one's sure what's in there. The sheaves of paper, biros, scalpels, bits of string, packets of mints, and so forth combine to give some protection, giving a saving throw of 6+ (or 5+ against blasts) - in other words, it counts as improvised flak armour. It also causes Fear in Imperial Guardsmen - well, why wouldn't they fear a Commissar?
OTHER MISC RGMW ARMY NOTES - The following armies\troop types may *not* attack the RTC: Squats, Jokaero, Zoats, Generic Imperial Assassins, Adeptus Astra Telepathica, Navatoris Nobilii (Navigators), Adeptus Mechanicus Techpriests,,Imperial Guard Assault Squads (etc.)
Any RGMW (RTC) model may have the following equipment: 
RGMW Power Field at 15 points
Rogue Trader Book at 20 points (roughly equivalent to real life cost. )
Realms of Chaos Book at 10 points (as Rogue Trader Book, but only works on Chaos forces.)
Flamer at 6 points

(RTC) MATTHEW MAGGIO.........................................................................225 points
  
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
Matt Maggio 	4 	7 	* 	3 	5 	4 	9 	4 	(see below) 	
*(Matt has terrible aim - only hits on a roll of six, and always hits on a role of six)
Weapons/Equipment: Large Quantity of Iced Tea, 2:30 am postings, Logic Gun (any target hit is instantly destroyed with no save - only applies to targets that confirm to official GW rules. range-unlimited).
Special:
TOO DUMB TO QUIT - Matthew Maggio may never take more than one wound from an attack, and any event that would cause him to be removed from the board/destroyed/rendered useless instead takes away one of his wounds. And he shall know no fear....most of the time- Matthew Maggio automatically passes all Leadership tests he is required to take and is immune to all psychology and break tests. In addition, when he is redused to one wound, he is shaken (as per the space marine special rule) with the exception that he will never advance towards the enemy for ANY reason. This condition persists until his wounds are greater than one.
ICED TEA - at the beginning of any of his turns, Matthew Maggio may choose to gulp down several gallons of Iced Tea all at once-this uses up his large quantity of iced tea. Roll D6 and consult the following table: 
1: THE CAFFINE, THE CAAAAFIIIINE! - Matthew Maggio has consumed enough caffeine to kill dozens of ordinary men. He suffers caffeine jitters for the remainder of the game and subtracts D3 from all of his h-t-h totals.
2: MMM.... - Matthew Maggio regains one wound
3: VERY REFRESHING - Matthew Maggio regains all wounds 
4: ENERGY BOOST - Add one to Matthew's Move, Strength, and Attacks-this last for the remainder of the game
5: FEROSIOUS SPEED - Double Matthew's Move and Attacks
6: THE INCREDIBLE MATT - Roll twice on the above table, rerolling sixes
  
2:30 AM POST - at the beginning of everyone of your turns, roll D6 and consult 
the following table:
1: IT CONFUSED EVEN ME - Matthew has managed to confuse even himself. He may do nothing this turn.
2: MACBETH - Matthew is dicussing a quote from Macbeth. He causes terror until the beginning of your next turn.
3: SENSIBLE DISSCUSSION - Matthew may reroll all his dicerolls (only the first roll may be rerolled, you beardy git!), always using thesecond result (where a reroll was taken). This remains in effect until the beginning of your next turn.
4: SNIDE REMARK - Somebody out there just doesn't get sarcasm. D3 of your opponents squads/characters/vehicles/etc. must test against their leadership or do nothing until the beginning of their next turn.
5: WIT? ME? - One friendly squad, of your choice, finds one of Matthew's posts to be very witty for some strange reason. Add one to all of its die rolls (if this would be favorable) to the beginning of your next turn.
6 : DEVASTATING WIT - Matthew has managed to post a truly humourous post - the enemy quakes in fear! All your units cause terror, and are treated as wearing howling banshee masks until the beginning of your next turn.
  
(PROBABLY) DEVASTATING MARTIAL ARTS - at the beginning of every Hand-to-Hand phase in which Matthew is involved in roll D6 (to represent the years of study he sort of remembers) and consult this chart:
1: HIIYAAAUUUGH! - Matthew manages to totally mess himself up! He has a weapon skill of zero and one attack this turn.
2-3: No effect.
4: MIGHTY STRENGTH - double Matthew's Strength (and apply the appropriate armour save modifier) this turn.
5: INCREDIBLE SPEED - double Matthew's Attacks this turn
6: MARTIAL ARTS MASTERY - while he looks awful silly doing it, Matthew manages to pull off a bona fide martial arts technique-he has S10 with one hit, doubled for all others, and has doubled attacks. The effect lasts for this turn only.
ATTENTION (THE LACK OF IT) - Matthew has a 3+ unmodifable save. The downside of this is that anytime he shoots at a target, roll a D6. On a 6, the target is paying no attention to him, and Matthew must move on to the next target. On a 1-5 resolve the shot as normal. Note that Matthew may not shot at any model successfully if he is in hiding and has not been detected.
IT'S IN THE BLOODY FAQ - Matthew has dedicated himself to spreading awareness of the RGMW FAQ. To represent this, anytime your opponent "forgets" a rule, Matthew may force a unit to read the FAQ, rendering it incapable of taking action until the end of your opponents next turn.
PEACE AMOUNG THE PROMINENT - Most prominent NG members get along well with each other, and thus will not take offensive action against each other. These NG members include, but are not limited to, Alien164, St. Jason, D, Evil Homer, Meridian, Andy Sheppard, Brian Schenk, Alistair Hutton, Tom Beliech, Tyranid Tim (don't kill the messenger-good help is hard to find), and Matthew Maggio. Note that this rule is thrown out the window if the Flame War mission card is in play. Also note that Alec Peters and many AOLers actively seek out prominent NG members, and will always be able to target them, regardless of closest target rules.

(RTC) THE NAVIGATOR......................................................................200 points
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
The Navigator 	4 	5 	5 	4 	4 	2 	6 	2 	8 	
Armour: Power Armour 3+ save. Third eye (see below)
Weapons/Equipment: Bolter, Matterglove
Special:
SCHOOL DAZE - The Navigator doesn't deploy like a normal character instead he arrives on the school bus on a random table edge (never the deployment zone) on the first turn. The varying life of a 14 year old can cause havok on a kids metal state, roll a D6 to determine what kind of day The Navigator had:
1: THE LAST STRAW - The minuite The Navigator steps off the bus, it explodes in a shower of flame, obviously its been one hell of a day. He tells everyone about it, and the entire army works themselves up to a frenzy. When the The Navigator comes within 2" of a friendly unit, they are frenzied for the entire game. The Navigator is frenzied himself, but units and characters can choose to ignore his ramblings, and thus, be unaffected.
2: OI!! DRIVER!! - The bus doesn't stop at the edge of the battlefield but continues on, driven by the mad The Navigator. See rules for the THROBB (The Hyper-active Run-Over-Bill-clinton Busâ„¢) below.
3: GRRR - The Navigator is slightly pissed off. +1 to WS and S but -1 from all combat results.
4: SO, SO - Nothing special...... YET, bwahahahhahahahahahahahahuh?
5: HAPPY DAYS - The Navigator has been subjected to a day of watching 50's American Soaps and has turned him into one nice guy....
The Navigator can give up all attacks in HTH for one devastating Nice Guy attack. The Navigator begins hugging the enemy, shaking their hands and talking to them about the horrors of war. The enemy has never seen such behavior on the battlefield, so they think that they are going insane. If the hit (using The Navigator's WS) wounds then roll a D6:
1 - 3: Nothing happens, treat the hit like normal.
4 - 5: The enemy smiles and decides that the war is to much and sits down with The Navigator to sing some folk songs. The enemy is treated as dead, and The Navigator cannot do a follow up move and sits with the man/woman/thing untill the beginng of the next turn. During that time he cannot be hit, although alot of people spit at him for mixing up the words to the great Squat folk song 'Beer, Beer, Beer'.
6: The enemy sees the error of his ways, decides he is on the wrong side of the fight and joins the RTC army. If the model is part of a unit, then the unit must take a Ld test or be convinced to turn to the RTC too.
6: THE UNLUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD - The Navigator turns up after being nominated 'Least Liked Man in the School', 'Man Most Likely to go to Jail' and 'Man Most Likely to have a Nervous Breakdown'. He acts normally, but every turn, on the roll of a 1 on a D6 he takes a nervous breakdown and storms off the battlefield, but on the roll of a 6 he doubles all of his stats until the next turn.
THIRD EYE - The Navigator has a third eye, secreted under a white head-band. As a character, The Navigator gets one random Spam which he can use once, and once only. The eye also gives him an uncanny sense for perceving a threat and can hear missile attacks a mile away. This being he has a 4+ unmodified save against grenades, missiles, and Spamguns, Spamcannons, and any other flaming/threating weapons (FlamerRifles, etc.)
MATTERGLOVE - The matterglove is an ingenius weapon. It looks like a chainfist with the chainsaw attachment removed. Where the saw would be is a small metalic blob which seems to move and twitch. The metal is made from a strange element, only known as Apocalyptium. The elemant has the quality that it is considered, by some people, to be alive. It reacts to the will of a mind that is connected to it, and can shape itself into different forms.
The whole weapon is connected to an elaborate web of neural electrodes that are in turn connected to the The Navigator's Third Eye. On the will of The Navigator, the blob of Apocalyptium will link up with a database of weapons in a chip in the fist and select the one the brain chooses. The Apocalyptium will then morph so it immitates the weapon. In this way the glove can choose to be any close-combat, pistol, basic or special weapon. If you want any heavy weapons then The Navigator must spend an entire turn without shooting because of the complexity of the weapon.

SQUADS
  
'WHINERS'.................................................................................................11 points per model
  
Whiners class as anyone who just drones on and on and on and on and on and.... on...
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
Whiner 	4 	4 	2 	3 	3 	1 	5 	1 	5 	
Weapons: The Power Of Persuasion.
Armour: None 
Special:
THE POWER OF PERSUASION (WHINE): These little Game Geeks never run, just constantly shuffle along, shouting at anyone who comes near them. When choosing your army roll a D6 to see what kind of whiners you can have:
1-2: GW charge Too Much...blah...blah...blah..: The constant complaining just gets every enemy so depressed whoever they shoot at starts to hallucinate. The squad now has hallucination grenades, but use the following table instead of the one in the Wargear Book:  
Roll a D6:
1 - The faces around you turn into people you saw working at one of your local GW store. You are truly insane... sit down and don't bother these nice people any more....
2 - Your hands are slimy tentacles, your fingers writhing worms, cool!! You immediatly try and show your nearest mate your funny fingers. He thinks your insane, so he shoots you. You die.
3 - The sky is so big, so inviting. Why don't you grab your friend and throw him into the air!! You grab nearest unit and trow him D6". He dies, and anyone or thing underneath it dies as well.
4 - Jones said he had an icthy neck earlier, why don't you help him with it. You pull out your carving knife and slit open your friends throat, pushing your hands down intro his gut. The entire unit spends the next turn throwing up over the rocks as they watch their comrade being gutted.
5 - Its all to mcuh!! The death the war, the poverty. Why don't you try and sell these people some flowers!! The model gallops around the board until someone shoots him, a bunch of flowers in one hand and a copy of 'Flower Pressing For Dummies' in the other.
6 - Jones is one of them... he's a GW conspiritor who is out to shut down the newsgroup and send you into a never-ending spiral of death and despair. KILL HIM. Shoot on the closest model then run away chanting 'GW is god!"
  
3-4: The New 40K Rulez/Sux: The man becomes a hand to hand genious, hitting anyone with his new copy of the hardback version of the 40Kv3 rulebook. Add 3 to his WS and 1 to his S and A. Every turn roll a D6. On the roll of a 1 the binding had become loose and the book falls apart. Subtract all prievious modifiers. 
5: GW is God: The squad runs around the table a breakneck speeds selling dodgy games workshop products at overly expensive prices. Add 12 to there Move and subtract 1 from their BS. All enemy units within 5" must make a test on their Ld or they will spen the turn sifting through catalogues and 'ohing' and 'Ahhing' at the new miniatures.
6: Boycott GW Waaaagh: the entire squad wears Warzone T-Shirts, flaunting non-GW catalogues and showing people their new Ral-Partha minitures. If this squad is the closest to the enemy they must shoot at it, no matter wether there is a monstorous creature within range or ANYTHING. These people make great cannon-fodder (can you say 'splat'. I knew you could.). Add 3 to their Move and bring all other stats down by 1 (to a minimum of 1). New points value: 5 points per model.

(RTC) AOLER'S.........................................................................................50 points
  
AOLer's are the Terminators of this army, tough, cheesy, a impossible to get rid of.
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
AOLer 	4 	5 	5 	4 	5 	1 	8 	2 	8 	
Weapons: Multi-Spammer (treat as Assault Cannon)
Armour: Stupidity Imunity 3+2D6 (they are so dumb they seem to ignore pain)
Special: Any squad of AOLer's may be lead by ALEIN 164..
All AOLer's suffer from Stupidity.

TROLLS........................................................................................................... 20 points
Trolls just wander around, leaving notes with confusing messages all over the battlefield.
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
Troll 	4 	3 	4 	3 	4 	2 	2 	1 	6 	
Armour: Thick Hide 6+ save
Weapons: SpamGun*
Special: 
ODD WORDS: Trolls drop pieces of paper behind them, and act as mines. Whenever anyonegoes near it the pick it up and get so puzzled that they run off the board screeming. If a whole unit passes over a letter then it gets passed from person to person, until there is no-one left within 2"
TROLL LETTER-MINE
Range 	Strength 	Save Mod 	Special 	
HTH only 	3 	-2 	Everyone within 2" of an affected unit will take a hit 	
*SPAM GUN
Range 	Strength 	Save Mod 	Special 	
Short: 2" Long: 24" 	4 	-1 		

  (RTC) RTC MEMBERS....................................................................................20 Points
  
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
RTC Bloke 	4 	2 	5 	4 	3 	1 	10* 	1 	10* 	
Armour: Stasis field (once activated at the start of the turn may not be harmed until the beginning of his next turn).
Weapons: Digiflamers, Digilasers, Nero Disrupters, Power Boards (One member per 5-man squad can be upgraded to a Conversion Beamer for +30 points)
Special:  
ROGUE TRADER: The squad carries inumerable copies of the RT, and chant the word from it even in their sleep. In the game, 
MUTATIONS: If you choose then the whole squad can be given D6 mutations from the RT book (whaddya mean you don't have it!)
DIGIWEAPONS - Digiwepons are just miniturised versions of hand-flamers, laspistols, and needle weapons, these weapons have the exact same stats, but the hands are free to hold other weapons (such as a Conversion Beamer :) hehehehehe)
CONVERSION BEAM WEAPON - This weapon converts matter into energy and propells it towards the enemy with devestating consequences.
Range 	Short 	Long 	Strength 	Save Mod 	Special 	
Short: 20" Long: 40" 	-1 		Target's T+1 	Special 		
The conversion beamer ignores all armour saves, but it is a slow weapon, allowing people to dodge out the way, so the save is depends on the models agility:
Range 	Targets 	move 	distance 	
	0-2" 	2-4" 	4"+ 	
Short 	6+ 	5+ 	4+ 	
Long 		6+ 	5+ 	

(SEC) FLAMER.........................................................................................................25 points
  
Troop Type 	M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
Flamer 	3 	2 	4 	3 	3 (5) 	2 	2 	1 	5 	
Armour: Burning Skin (their flesh is constantly alight, giving them a 5+ save and increasing their T by 2
Weapons: FlamerRifle, (1 person per 5-man squad may upragde his FlamerRifle to a JHIZM (Juvinile Homo Insult Zapper Machine) for 20 points) 
Special:
  
FLAMERRIFLE - The FlamerRifle is an ingenious machine. In the chamber of it is a modem linked to the brain of Alec Peters. Alec's flames are processed then sent to the barrel and then to a small device that turns the electrical signal into brainwaves. The wave pummel themselves in all directions, impacting people and turning their brains into mush :)
Range 	Short 	Long 	Strength 	Save Mod 	Special 	
F Template 			4 	-1 	Roll on Halluginagen Table 	
JHIZM - The JHIZM is a sophisticated version of the FlamerRifle. The difference is it instead of normal flames, it blurts out rude, sick and downright stupid bunch of insults.
Range 	Short 	Long 	Strength 	Save Mod 	Special 	
Short: 6" Long: 40" 	-2 	+2 	6 	-3 	If victim survives then roll on Halluginagen Table 	

SUPPORT 
  
THROBB (The Hyper-active Run-Over-Bill-clinton Bus).........................................120 points
Ram Value:
Strength 9
2D6 Damage
-4 save
  
Crew:
Navigator
M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
4 	5 	5 	4 	4 	2 	6 	2 	8 	
Weapons: THROBB is armed with 'Ravaging Incontinent School Kids' (RISK Cannon), Twin Assault Cannons (built in Tech Class) 180o arc field of fire. 
Weapon Data
	Ran 	ge 	To 	Hit 						
Weapons 	Short 	Long 	Short 	Long 	Str. 	Dam. 	Save Mod. 	AP 	Special 	
RISK Cannon 	0-12" 	12-24" 	+1 	-1 	6 	D6+D3 	-3 	2D6+6 	1" Blast 	
Damage Tables (just use the one for the Razorback)

(RTC) DEFENCE LASER........................................................................................200 points
  
Crew:
4 RTC Members
M 	WS 	BS 	S 	T 	W 	I 	A 	Ld 	
4 	2 	5 	4 	3 	1 	10 	1 	10 	
Weapons: The Defence Laer is armed with a Defence Laser (no... its true!), a Heavy Bolter, and a Targeting Laser (Counts as Lascannon)
All shots fired with Computer Targeter (BS 7)
Weapon Data
	Ran 	ge 	To 	Hit 						
Weapons 	Short 	Long 	Short 	Long 	Str. 	Dam. 	Save Mod. 	AP 	Special 	
Defence Laser 	6-24" 	24-300" 	-1 		10 	4D6 	No Save 	No Armour 	1" Blast 	
Damage Tables: All sides 20 armour points. 
1-2: The Heavy Bolter and Lastargeter are destroyed
3-4: Computer damage. The Laser fires with a BS of 3 from now on 
5: Burnout. The computer shuts down, the Defence Laser is destroyed and the secondary weapons can only be fired on a 4+
6: Bang. The Compter reads a target where there is none, the target happens to be itself. The Laser packs detonate, destoying everything around it. Anyone within an inch is vaporised by the blast. Anyone within 2" takes a wound at -4 save. Anyone within 3" takes a S7 hit with no saves.

SPAMS 
  
Spams are the psycic powers of a Rec.Games.Minatures.Warhammer army.
  
GAAME GEEEK........................................Power 1 	
Meridian has a small tape-recorder, on which he has recorded "You Game Geek" over and over again. This really bugs people when in HTH, so enemy gets -1 on total comat score and on To Hit rolls. Merian wears fluffy pink earmuffs, so does hear the words.
This spam last until Meridian is dead or until the player removes it from play.
	
SPAMORAMA............................................Power 2 	
Meridian opens his mouth and projects a tighty condensed beam of Spams at the enemy.
Draw a line 2D6" long directly in front of Meridian. Anyone in the path of the weapon must make an Init. test or will suffer a S5 hit with a -1 Save Mod. If the model surfvives they will suffer from Terror, Stupidity, Hatred (against Meridian) and Frenzy for the rest of the game.
	
HAND OF GW............................................Power 3 	
Meridian raises his arms, and from the sky drops a massive version of W40Kv3!!
Take your W40K book and drop it onto the table. Pick it up again, any models crushed, mauled, tipped over, immediatly suffer a S3 hit with no saves (with vehicles, an Armour Penetration of D6+6)
	
WHINER MORPH.....................................Power 2 	
Meridian raises a finger to a friendly squad and from it a bolt of fire is released.
'Whiner Morph' can only be cast on friendly units. Whenever that unit kills a model, replace the dead unit with a Whiner (see above). 'Morphed Whiners' suffer from Stupidity and only survive 2 turns before having a nervous break down.... hehehe

Coming Soon............ 
  
CHARACTERS: 
  
'Alec Peters'
Skills: Multiple Personalities (lawyer? Agent? Who knows!), Game Geek, Change of Heart (halfway through the battle, Alec changes into a whole new, good, person... for now).
  
'Cheshire Cat'
Skills: Stand on My Head, The Cheshire Cat Strikes Again
  
SQUADS 
  
'Gaaaaame Geeeeeeeeeeeks'
    
Coming even-sooner............ 

NEW CODEX 

'CODEX: GAMES WORKSHOP'

CHARACTERS: 
  
'Fat Bloke'
Weapons: Bacon Buttie
Skills: Obeasity
  
'Andy Chambers'
Weapons: Creativity Gun
Skills: Overactive Imagination
  
'Trish Morrison'
Weapons: Green Stuff
Skills: Sculptress (can make her own weapons out of Green Stuff)
  
'Rick Priestly'
Weapons: None
Skills: None
  
'The Great Almighty Fanboy'
Weapons: Copy Of Every Games Workshop Miniture And Game..... Ever
Skills: The Greatest Wargame In The World..... Probably
  
SQUADS 
  
'Mail Order Trolls'
'GW Staff'
'Eavy Metal Team'
'Sculpters'
'Fanboys'
I'm looking for some SEC troops and characters and if there is anyone out there who likes v3 and who has any quirks (slightly insane, caffine dependancey, whatever) then PLEASE send your ideas to Navigator@beansburn.co.demon.uk. Or just reply to the post.... damn, why didn't I think of that.... You did... Oh yeh.... *slap* shuttup.
Navigator
aka
The Man from Delmonte
The Man from Delmonte says "Personality Disorder? Me? No, he meant me!"